RANT- a collared dove/pigeon keeps crapping on my laundry

[AeolianHarp]

Every time I wash my sheets/duvet covers and hang them on the washing line this vile creature comes and craps all over them.

I swear it is doing it to spite me. I know this sounds paranoid, but when I go and hang them out it comes in the tree and flaps about.

Then when I go to collect the sheets/duvet covers it has had diarrhoea all over them.

It used to do it now and again- but now it is EVERY time. I have washed one sheet 4 TIMES and it is so ingrained I can't get it out. (My machine is second hand and not very good- doesn't fill up with hot water, so I have to fill it manually with a jug through the soap tray- so it takes me some effort to wash my laundry so this creature's antics are doubly annoying). I have got a bag of laundry with the sheet that I will have to take to wash and dry at the launderettes.

My one remaining sheet I washed last night after it shat on it yesterday, and I went to collect it and AGAIN it has shat all over it. When I went out it flapped out of the tree and flew off- it bloody well knew what it had done- the disgusting creature.

I have a very tiny house- 4 rooms and an airer on the top of the stairs for my socks, but drying indoors makes stuff musty, so they need to go out on the washing line.

I am seriously considering poisoning it with rat poison on bread. It is so greedy it will for sure eat the bait.

I always thought pigeons were stupid- but this thing knows exactly what its doing.

[Megan]

It is infuriating I know AeolianHarp.
Pigeons have a life span of about 6 years in the wild, so seeing it probably already a couple of years old, you may have it for another 3 or 4 years.
Do you have a nearby laundrette you can perhaps use? I know this can be a bit expensive, but it might be worth a try. How do you manage in the winter?
Have you thought of getting a pigeon trap? I don't think pigeons are protected , farmers will only be to glad if they were all shot. As a further deterrent, you could also use a replica of a falcon or owl and place it strategically on a roof or garden shed somewhere the pigeon will see it and hopefully scare it off!



.

[AeolianHarp]

Pigeons have a life span of about 6 years in the wild, so seeing it probably already a couple of years old, you may have it for another 3 or 4 years.

This big fat f-ker has been here since I moved in 4 years ago. I reckon it will outlive me. And this place is full of the despicable creatures- they are everywhere in their thousands. Hardly surprising when there are take out shops everywhere and the streets are full of rubbish. Yes, I live in a paradise.

Do you have a nearby laundrette you can perhaps use? I know this can be a bit expensive, but it might be worth a try.

A 30 min walk away and yes it is expensive.

How do you manage in the winter?

Laundry goes out on the line, just takes longer to dry. Now and again I would dry stuff in the laundrettes.

Have you thought of getting a pigeon trap? I don't think pigeons are protected , farmers will only be to glad if they were all shot.

Never heard of a trap- is it like one of those mouse ones where you then let it out elsewhere? I am in a town so no farmers here, or I'd invite him and his gun round for tea.

As a further deterrent, you could also use a replica of a falcon or owl and place it strategically on a roof or garden shed somewhere the pigeon will see it and hopefully scare it off!

I've seen those on e-Bay. I doubt they'd scare it. They look comical rather than scary. I once saw a scarecrow on e-Bay and someone had posted the question- is it scary enough for crows? LOL!!!

I've had to hang the sheet over the wooden stairs where it will dry all musty thanks to that foul bird. The duvet cover is on the clothes horse out in the garden. My house has no back to it ( they are 1980s back to backs 2 ups 2 downs).

I just phoned my Mum about it and she mentioned rat poison lol

[AeolianHarp]

Aha! Just seen this:

http://www.trapman.co.uk/feral-pigeon-trap.htm

Then I could set it free in the woods about a mile away.

Seems a lot to pay to get rid of it though. I don't have a paid job at the moment.

Ethically as a Buddhist I am not keen to poison it though I feel like it.

There's no law protecting feral pigeons/collared doves in Britain- they are a menace- we hate them in this town!

[Sorrano]

You might appreciate this:

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park until one day, an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," the angel said, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, during which time you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly and dashed for the bushes, from whence there came a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes with wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more broadly, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head!"

[Joy]

Forgive me for laughing but that's pretty funny about the pigeons! They're dive bombing (and I do mean bombing) your laundry

Sorrano, your story is funny too! Ha!

Just try putting out one of those fake owls, that might scare them away. We have them here too but they don't seem to 'go' on the laundry.

[AeolianHarp]

I've not long come back from the gym- as I opened my gate I saw a big FAT tabby cat sat staring at the tree. He looked at me as I came up my path but didn't run away.I pointed at the tree and said scare that pigeon away! The cat looked up at the tree as I pointed. Maybe Fat Cat will come back and give that pigeon the eye...

p.s- from what I have read the fake owls don't bother pigeons at all- they roost on them..

I've got an ornamental one with glowing white eyes.